April marks Stress Awareness Month and here award-winning former GP and current career & confidence coach Dr Claire Kaye offers insight into why so many capable, high-functioning women are drowning in stress advice, yet still struggling, while she shares what actually makes a difference…
We have become very good at talking about stress. There are endless checklists, morning routines, supplements, and ‘five simple steps’ promising to fix it. Yet the women Dr Claire Kaye sits opposite every day are not short of advice. They are short of headspace.
Stress, in her experience as both a former NHS GP and now a career and confidence coach, is rarely about poor time management or a lack of resilience. It is far more often the result of a life that no longer fits, being held together by habit, expectation, and an impressive ability to keep going.
Which is precisely why so much conventional advice falls flat. It treats the symptoms, not the source.
Stop trying to ‘manage’ stress you shouldn’t be carrying
There is a subtle but important distinction between pressure that is purposeful and pressure that is misaligned. One energises you; the other slowly erodes you.
Many women Claire works with are trying to become better at coping with situations that are fundamentally wrong for them: roles that don’t play to their strengths, environments that require them to shrink, or expectations that were never consciously chosen. No amount of breathwork or gym sessions will fix that.
Before you reach for another coping strategy, it is worth asking: Is this stress coming from something that actually needs to change?
If everything feels urgent, nothing is being chosen
A common refrain Claire hears is, “I just need to get through this patch.” It sounds reasonable. Sensible, even. But for many, that ‘patch’ becomes a year, then five.
Stress thrives in lives lived on autopilot. The shift is not about doing less for the sake of it, but about becoming more intentional. When you actively choose what stays and what goes, even in small ways, your nervous system responds differently. You are no longer reacting to your life; you are shaping it. And, that sense of control is not indulgent, it is protective.
Boundaries are not about being difficult; they are about being clear
We have softened the language around boundaries to the point where it has become almost apologetic. In reality, clear boundaries are one of the most effective ways to reduce chronic stress.
Not because they remove all demands, but because they remove ambiguity. Ambiguity is exhausting. It is what keeps your mind running at 3am, replaying conversations, second-guessing decisions, wondering if you have done enough.
Clarity, knowing what you will and won’t do, and communicating it calmly, reduces that internal noise more effectively than any wellness trend.
Overthinking is not a personality trait; it is a signal
We often accept overthinking as part of who we are. “I’m just someone who thinks too much.” But overthinking is rarely random. It tends to show up when something is unclear, unresolved, or misaligned.
Trying to silence it without addressing the cause is like turning down the volume on a warning alarm. Instead of asking how to stop overthinking, it is far more useful to ask: What is this trying to tell me? What decision am I avoiding? Clarity reduces noise. Avoidance amplifies it.
Small, honest decisions based on your values are a real game-changer
There is a tendency to believe that reducing stress requires a big, bold move: a career pivot or a complete lifestyle overhaul.
In reality, the most meaningful shifts tend to come from smaller, more honest decisions based on your values, such as saying no to something that drains you, having a conversation you have been avoiding, carving out thinking space and actually using it, or choosing differently, even when it feels unfamiliar. These are not headline-grabbing changes, but they are the ones that alter the trajectory of your life and your stress levels along with it.
The real work
Stress is not something to be eliminated entirely, nor should it be. Some degree of pressure is part of a full and engaged life. But chronic, unrelenting stress is often a sign that something deeper needs attention.
The real work is not in perfecting your ability to cope with everything, but in deciding what is truly worth carrying. And that requires something far more powerful than another tip or technique. It requires you to pause long enough to ask yourself what you actually want and to begin, however tentatively, to move towards it.
You can find out more about Dr Claire Kaye and her work here.
Register or log in to get started in your organisation
Photo by Matthew Henry on Unsplash
